When J was born, his parents were married and they lived in the suburbs.  His father, who once had his shit together, was beginning to crumble.  First he lost his job, then he turned to drinking, then he became an alcoholic.  Or maybe he was one all along, it’s difficult to tell if he was a functioning alcoholing who lose control or if his binges were the result of depression from being another mouth to feed instead of the provider.  At any rate, his drinking got out of control and J’s mom divorced him.  Since she had been the sole bread winner, the family’s financial situation didn’t change when J’s dad moved out.

Because of her fear of his abusive and violent behavior when drunk, J’s mother moved the family and refused to tell J’s dad where they lived.  She still took J to see his father very regularly and he grew up knowing his parents loved him.  He went to Montessori, then public school, then charter school for middle school and finally independent schools for high school.  Although J was popular, he never really had many friends.  For sure he didn’t have one truly close best friend.  Maybe that’s where the trouble starts?

As with most boys, J was a little troublesome.  Although he annoyed his sister a lot and talked back under his breath, there wasn’t anything really remarkable about his behavior as a child.  He was the baby and therefore was totally spoiled.

No one really noticed anything until he got to high school.  Suddenly J was a thug.  He was talking back, he got into fights and suddently he knew just a little too much about gangs.  He confided in his sister that the bloods wanted him but she figured he was just a suburban kid trying to act tough and that nothing would come of it.  Unfortuanately she could have been more wrong.  While she was correct about him not  joining because he didn’t want to get beat up, no one was clear how involved he was in this mess.  Suddently he needed protection, so he hung with tough kids to protect himself.  He still got into fights but it probably wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

His family should have been worried when he started sleeping all day and all night.  When punishments just didn’t seem to matter.  When his grades started to slip.  When he said he wasn’t sure he wanted to keep playing basketball.  When he started screaming and stepping to his family.  When he pushed his mother.  All these signs and nothing really happened for two year.  Finally, J transferred to a Christian school where he was surprised everyone was so nice to him.  His grades started to improve but his attitude still sucked.

He had a rage in him and no one could figure out why was J so mad.  For real, why in the world was J so mad.  His mother felt she had done all that she could.  His sister tried to be there for him.  Even his father tried to intervene, but J was gone.

A couple of weeks ago, J took his mother’s car in the early hours of the morning to deliver a package for that gang.  He said he had to do it because he was on their hit list and this was his way to make ammends.  He delievered the package but on the way home he was stopped because one of his headlights was out.  Besides that fact that he was out after Windsor’s curfew, he also was driving with out a license.  So J got a ticket and was told that if he was ever caught diving without a license he would never get his licence.  This doesn’t seem to faze him much, as with everything else these days, he simply doesn’t care.

J’s family worries about his safety.  They can’t tell if it’s pride, denial or stupidity that allows J to think that everything’s ok.  We all wonder, what in the world happened to J and is he going to get it together in time to get his life back on track.

peace,
e.