I figured since I’m going to Cool Kids PhD Club retreat next weekend and I had to submit a working paper, might as well drop it off here if anyone’s inclined to read and/or comment.

Daughters and their Relationship with their Nonresident Fathers (working title too).

Enjoy.

peace,
e.

I read somewhere that A Belle in Brooklyn writes all her posts on her Blackberry. Since I have an hour commute to work I figured I’d give it a shot. And I really need to write since I’ve already  fallen off my write every day wagon. #weak

At any rate, I’ve been thinking a lot about these interviews I’m doing (hopefully for my  dissertation). So far I’ve only done and to be honest I was not prepared for what I heard and how I felt afterwards.  I’m interviewing daughters who grew up in different households and I’m
trying to explore how they maintained these relationships, what these relationships are like now and if these relationships have affected their dating habit and/or sexual behavior.

I know what my “daddy story” is and have been thinking about blogging that just to get it out of my system and to just sit and think about what it is to me and how it’s affecting my research.  But that’s another post

Anyway, what’s surprised me most about these interviews is how sad they make me.  Granted there were a lot of sad parts in the interview, the sadness I felt is most likely my own shit rather than empathy.  It just boggles the mind how fathers can disappear and move on with life
so easily – especially when their own fathers weren’t there. They know what it feels like, and at some point they must have said “I’m never going to do that to my child.” And yet the pattern continues.

At some point, I’d like to interview the fathers. Not sure how well that would work out. Probably like how it is when Oprah interviews child molestors.  She can’t be cool, she barely holds it together and you can just feel her disdain for them.  Maybe my emotions aren’t that
strong, but I would be going in with judgment and emotion. That doesn’t mix well with science.

Back to the interview. It helped me form a hypothesis about how these relationships are maintained.  I’m going to see if these next two relationships confirm the pattern.  It’s exciting.

peace,
e

In 6 days i will begin a 3 week vacation.  My first vacation in over two years.  My last vacation was prob my worst with my (ex) boyfriend and lots o drama. So I need to make up for lost time and create some positive memories to associate with vacation.

I have a few goals over those next 3 weeks:

1. Focus SASSY.  It’s too all over the place.  There’s no structure.  I know it can better.
2. Finish the edits on the chapter – which has now turned into a journal article.  the editors had the second draft for almost 6 months and returned it yesterday and said they wanted revisions by Augutst 19th.  That wasn’t happening but one of  my coauthors and I are trying to get it out by September 2nd.  Wish us luck!
3. Do and mega pro and cons list of my two dissertation ideas.  I know I haven’t started the program but if I want to get out in 3 years I need to go in knowing exactly what I want to do.
4. PhD bootcamp with my cousin who just got her PhD.  (Congrats Leah).  I have no idea of what this entails.
5. Exercise. a lot.  I know it will help relieve stress and my goal is to put myself on a schedule and make this routine.  Even though I am currently pretty healthy, I know I can do better.
6. Create a realistic healthier diet.  I just moved and have been eating crap for three weeks.  My body can’t take it anymore.

That’s all I’ve got for now.  I’ll keep you updated.

e.

I just realized I never blogged about that fact that I’m headed back to school in the fall.  Right back to Columbia to get my PhD is social policy and policy analysis.   I thought I had a dissertation idea (well I do) but when I went to the open house and began talking with my homeboy who is already a candidate there, he gave a super amazing idea – or at least the beginnings of an idea – for what I think is an even better idea.  When I flush it out more I’ll share.

Ok that’s it.  I don’t know why I am up this early.  Back to bed for me.

peace,
e.