Tag: black men

the nation ignores the death of another black man

at the hands of the police. I hadn’t read my google reader in a few days, and I first came across the story over at postbougie.  A quick google search provided no actual news, except for blogs.  I’m so pissed.

The story: around 2 am on New Years a few brown men were pulled off the train for an altercation.  some were handcuffed, others weren’t.  among those not handcuffed was 22 year old Oscar Grant.  Apparently Mr. Grant was pleaded with the cops to not taser him, when they put him face down on the ground and shot him.  Don’t believe me?  It was caught on tape by two different people.

Granted it’s on a camera phone, you can still clearly see a cop holding Oscar down and another cop shotting him.  What’s more crazy is that are MAD people watching, inside the train and on the platform.  It’s just soo brazen I can’t believe it.

Of course the cops are trying to argue that he was trying to pull out his taser gun and mistakenly  pulled out a gun.  I’m sorry but a taser gun looks different than a real gun.  Very different.  And the worse part is that like Rodney King, these cops will probably be acquitted.

I finally found the story on CNN.  Do a search for Oscar Grant and the first story is how the cop is getting death threats.  Then you see the story about Oscar himself.  Enough.  American needs to start caring about  Black men anf it needs to start now.

e.

cross posted at SASSY

an argument against marriage

that doesn’t make me want to tear my hair out. So i was reading/lurking on postbougie and they hat tipped TNC (another place where i lurk) and he was explaining why he decided not to marry the mother of his children and (i’m assuming) his girlfriend.

When I read what it was about, I was ready to tear it about. After all, I’m all about (healthy) marriage and it’s one of my two policies of choice for change in the Black community. The other is education if you must know.

While I don’t necessarily agree with his reasons not to marry, I can certainly understand and respect them.  It’s not that I think that marriage is a magic pill.  I understand that they take a lot of work and a lot of patience.  A marriage is a commitment – not just to a wife, but to your children as well.  And I guess some of the reasons TNC said he didn’t want to marry, this insurance, is what I thinkis the missing piece to child stability in single parent families.   I think a relationship that TNC appears to have is rare outside of marriage and this is the type of relationship that intiatives like The Healthy Family Initiative are strivig to achieve.  It’s not so much the contractual relationship as it is the loving partnership that policies, and society, are trying to achieve.

peace,
e.

J: A Case Study

I don’t know where I’m gonna go with this series but I have about three in mind.

When J was born, his parents were married and they lived in the suburbs.  His father, who once had his shit together, was beginning to crumble.  First he lost his job, then he turned to drinking, then he became an alcoholic.  Or maybe he was one all along, it’s difficult to tell if he was a functioning alcoholing who lose control or if his binges were the result of depression from being another mouth to feed instead of the provider.  At any rate, his drinking got out of control and J’s mom divorced him.  Since she had been the sole bread winner, the family’s financial situation didn’t change when J’s dad moved out.

Because of her fear of his abusive and violent behavior when drunk, J’s mother moved the family and refused to tell J’s dad where they lived.  She still took J to see his father very regularly and he grew up knowing his parents loved him.  He went to Montessori, then public school, then charter school for middle school and finally independent schools for high school.  Although J was popular, he never really had many friends.  For sure he didn’t have one truly close best friend.  Maybe that’s where the trouble starts?

As with most boys, J was a little troublesome.  Although he annoyed his sister a lot and talked back under his breath, there wasn’t anything really remarkable about his behavior as a child.  He was the baby and therefore was totally spoiled.

No one really noticed anything until he got to high school.  Suddenly J was a thug.  He was talking back, he got into fights and suddently he knew just a little too much about gangs.  He confided in his sister that the bloods wanted him but she figured he was just a suburban kid trying to act tough and that nothing would come of it.  Unfortuanately she could have been more wrong.  While she was correct about him not  joining because he didn’t want to get beat up, no one was clear how involved he was in this mess.  Suddently he needed protection, so he hung with tough kids to protect himself.  He still got into fights but it probably wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Read more…

sexism in my house

Now I’m sure this isn’t the first time I’ve experienced sexism, but it’s the first time I’ve really noticed.  I live with two men and my experiences with them, well one in particular, is driving my crazy.  Men are men, and men are different than women.  I get that.  But dang, why are we so different.  Why can’t we see eye to eye?  Why am I the only one that can see the dirt in the house?  I’m ranting.

At any rate, roommate-I-don’t-get-along-with (hereby known as wack guy) let the cat out.  The cat came back with fleas.  Roommate-I-do-get-along-with and I spend the weekend cleaning the house.  Wack guy was out of town that weekend, as usual, so I sent him a little email asking him simply to swiffer the kitchen and sweep the stairs.  And he says no.  His reason?  “The house was in that state when I moved in.”  Uhm… actually when you moved in it was messy, not flea infested.  This is one of the many power plays that we have, and that I lose.  Whomp.

Anyway, it’s stressful and annoying to know the main reason someone isn’t taking you seriously is because of your sex.  And prob my age too… blah. And what’s more annoying is that if my roommate that I do get along with would actually tell this guy to clean up, stop making our house smell like the club and in general, stop acting like a douche, he would change.   That totally irks me.

I need this dude to stop acting crazy in my apartment and to pick up a broom.

peace,
e.

Missing Men

Yesterday the Boston Globe had an interesting article on the absence of men, in particular Black men, in antipoverty policy. Children have always been considered “deserving poor” because they are largely helpless, and women have long been considered deserving because their plight was usually the result of widowdom. For the most part, Americans have taken care of the “deserving poor” not necessarily through the best means available (read: poorhouses) but nonetheless, the intention was to create a better living situation, and hopefully better life chances, for those in social programs.

The icon of the “undeserving poor,” by contrast, has always been the able-bodied man. Although some programs in the New Deal and the War on Poverty provided them with jobs and training, social welfare policy has otherwise largely ignored men. One practical reason is that as a rule, aid to children – the paragons of vulnerability – has been channeled through mothers. Equally potent, though, is the longstanding cultural belief that men, barring economic disasters, should be able to take care of themselves. Today, especially, low-income men have an image problem. Many are convicts and “deadbeat dads,” widely seen as deserving blame, not bailouts.

But according to a new wave of thinking, the next front in the fight against poverty should consist of policies aimed at these very individuals. Experts say that poor men, caught in profound economic and social changes, now number among society’s most vulnerable members. The economy has shifted its weight to the service sector, shedding the manufacturing jobs that once offered low-skilled men the promise of good wages to support their families. Alarming percentages of poor men – disproportionately African-Americans – pass through the criminal justice system, further undercutting their employability. And child support laws have driven them deep into debt.

I must admit, this is probably the first time I’ve seen mainstream media consider these men vulnerable. Let’s just take a little look at the many systems that keep Black men in poverty.

  • * education – If CNN didn’t beat this into the ground, the high school drop out rate for African Americans is now up to 50%. We all know that not obtaining a college degree, let alone a high school degree, significantly decreases one’s lifetime earnings.
  • * incarceration – you send a Black man to jail and his likelihood of finding employment to sustain him, let alone and his family, drops at an incredible rate.
  • * child support - I’m not advocating that men don’t pay, but simple changes will make it much easier for men to pay. For example, if we stop considering incarceration “voluntary unemployment” and stop adding onto the principal while men are in jail, this would make their arrears repayment much easier upon their release. Or instead of taking out the entire amount of arrears from a man’s paycheck (and leaving with him with nothing in that paycheck), we should leave enough money for men to support themselves.
  • * lack of low skill labor – this has been a problem since the 1970′s and employment is becoming more technical and analytical. Low education and low skill men are going to continue to have a hard time finding a job that provide liveable wages and any sort of benefits. That said, low skill jobs are not going to return. We need to educate these men and provide them with the skills to compete in today’s workforce.

The article points to many initiatives to help these men – most through financial incentives. That makes sense, a major reason men turn to crime is financial, however, this has been met with resistance.

In certain quarters, these ideas have generated controversy. Conservative critics oppose the expenditures, while others, especially feminists, fear that limited antipoverty funding could be diverted from poor women, who are by and large still struggling to raise the kids. From this perspective, the question is, why should men who have shirked their obligations be rewarded with assistance?

“If men were taking responsibility for their children, they would be receiving benefits,” says Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization for Women.

These objections underscore one of the central challenges of any strategy designed to benefit poor men. Although policy analysts describe them as among the most vulnerable citizens in contemporary America, they are commonly viewed as more menacing than helpless. Many of them have broken laws and are severely alienated from mainstream society. The new proposals raise the question: How can you justify devoting scarce resources to helping people who most Americans see as culpable for many of their own – and society’s – problems?

And there’s the problem. Even though they need a lot of help, men are not considered deserving. And in some cases, ok a lot of cases, men are directly responsible for their current situation. I get frustrated when I see men refuse to acknowledge their role in their predicament and instead blame the system or “the man.” Yes, there are systems at work against you but you dropped at of high school, committed a crime, etc., etc. I question the effectiveness of a program if a man cannot accept the role his decisions have made on his situation, and also how those decisions affect others – his children, his babymama, his family, and his community.

And before you get all, she’s blaming the victim on me, I do understand the frustration of feminists and conservatives. Yes these man make poor decisions, but we need to give second chances. One dumb decision a man makes when he’s in his teens or early twenties really should not haunt and hinder him for the rest of his life. We need to recognize that if we don’t help these men the problem will get worse.

My thought is this, if you help Black children while they are the “deserving” you won’t need to help them when they are the Black men, and therefore “undeserving.” Seems simple enough to me.

peace,
e.

I uploaded the article to my server in case it’s down on the Boston Globe site – you can read it here.

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