So I finally got around to watching The DL Chronicles and boy was it more than I expected. The first season of the Here! TV show features the stories of 4 different men living on the down low. It is written, produced and directed by Quincy LeNear and Deondray Gossett, it appears as if at least one was on the DL at some point in time. Although I would argue that two episodes feature gay men who are in the closet as opposed to men on the DL, it is an interesting perspetive on men on the DL.
By far the most horrifying episode is that of Boo. Boo is the DL man that we are taught to be afraid of. He is attractiv, he is promiscious and he is HIV+. Yikes. In the episode he lives with his girlfriend until she kicks him out, this seems to be a regular occurance. When she kicks him out, he goes and lives with his God fearing mother. He hangs with his boys on the stoop and makes fun of the flamboyant Jesse. Boo’s mother knows her son is promiscious and accepts that, as his father was the same way. She is just grateful that he’s not an embarrassment to her like Jesse is to his mother. The uneasiness in his face explains part of the reason why he never talks to his friends about his sexuality. In fact, the only people he seems to discuss this with are the other men he sleeps with. At one point Boo explains “I’m not gay!” to which a naked man simply laughs. It’s painful and frustrating.
There’s a really telling scene (clip 2) where Boo is smoking with Jesse and Boo says “I don’t know how you do it dude.” Jesse simply replies, “Honey, it ain’t easy being me. But it beats being somebody else.” Understatement of the year.
Of course, you know how it ends. A man Boo has slept with repeatedly (without a condom) ends up in the hospital and is diagnosed with HIV. Boo refuses to believe this but eventually accepts it. It’s assumed he is positive, but we never see Boo get tested, nor do we see him tell any of his many sexual partners that they should get tested as well.
The purpose of the show is not to scare women even more than they already are. I think the writers are trying to create some empathy for the DL but to also be realistic with what is going on. I definitely recommend checking it out.
I just realized I never blogged about that fact that I’m headed back to school in the fall. Right back to Columbia to get my PhD is social policy and policy analysis. I thought I had a dissertation idea (well I do) but when I went to the open house and began talking with my homeboy who is already a candidate there, he gave a super amazing idea – or at least the beginnings of an idea – for what I think is an even better idea. When I flush it out more I’ll share.
Ok that’s it. I don’t know why I am up this early. Back to bed for me.
Entitled part 1 because I’m sure there will be many more of these.
And here we go again. I feel like I’m constantly arguing with my peers about homophobia. It always surprises me how educated people can be so freaking ignorant. For the past week I had been arguing about bisexuality. Among the gems thrown my way were: “There’s no such thing as bisexuality, once you have intercourse with someone of the same sex once you’re forever gay.” and “Bisexuality (and not homosexuality) is what is wrong in America.” And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Bible pushers. I honestly just don’t think Jesus would love everyone but homosexual, I just don’t. I don’t think God hates gay. I don’t think homosexuality is a choice, and even if it was, I don’t think people should be controlling what others do in their bedroom. I think gay marraige should be legalized and I think it will be within the next decade.
I think Black people especially need to get over their homophobia. I believe men on the DL is such a problem because of homophobia. I think if Black gay men could be out and accepted (at least in rates similar to the White community), I think there would be a lot less DL and more out (and happy) men. In terms of bisexual men, there is little to no incentive to be honest. I’ve met numerous women who flat out refuse to date a bisexual man, even if he was perfect in every way. It blows my mind. With all these women crying about being single and the lack of eligible men, how can we completely shut off a whole group of men.
Sorry I’ve been m.i.a., I’ve been finishing the second draft of my first chapter and deciding which PhD program to go to.
Anywhoo, during the madness of the past month I stumbled upon a TV show called Noah’s Arc. Noah’s Arc is a Black gay sex and the city. I cannot stop watching this show (on netflix, it’s totally off the air). There are many things I love about this show. For one, it features different types of Black men. They don’t all look the same, they don’t act the same, they don’t the same, they don’t deal with the same issues. I love the diversity. There’s the intellectual college professor who is a little uptight, there’s the super free spirit, who is a little too free with his body, there’s the mama/diva and then there’s the niave screenwriter. The show deals with coming out, AIDS, homophobia, issues within the gay community re: acting feminine, gay marriage, childen, and of course relationships.
Another thing I love about the show is the way it portrays fathers. *spoiler alert* When Chance and Eddie break up the first time, Chance keeps his commitment to Eddie’s daugher. He made it a point to still be in her life. The show doesn’t spend a lot of time on it, but I thought it was so important to show a Black man being commited to a child, especially one that was not biologically his. In season 2 and in the movie, two other couples ponder adoption. I think this is so important as the dominant view of Black men and fatherhood is that it’s something Black men are afraid of and avoid.
The show is not perfect, the acting is not the best. But the show is hilarious and really touches upon a lot of important issues, not only for the gay audience but the straight as well. I encourage you to watch it on netfilix or logonline.com.
Oh how I smiled when I read this: The Guinness World Record holders for longest marriage are black! Wow. 84 years!
The two of them can still give their reasons for marrying on May 13, 1924. “He was not mean; he was not a fighter,” Zelmrya said. “He was quiet and kind. He was not much to look at but he was sweet.”
She found a good man and held on to him (even though he wasn’t a looker). I can’t be mad at that.
I’ve been holding off on commenting on this for a while, but since people are asking, here’s my two cents.
the good
well, some light is being shed on domestic violence in the black community. We are actually acknowledging it exists and speaking about it with our friends. We are seeing that it can happen to anyone and we are seeing a lot of people talking out how this has affected them personally – men and women. And hopefully, we will see a beautiful young woman strong enough to walk away and a young man secure enough to get some real help and learn to deal with his issues.
the bad
Most likely we won’t. And it will be heartbreaking to see them together again, and more heartbreaking when he does this again. I understand that it is not easy to walk away from an abusive relationship. I know even when women leave it is emotionally draining to press charges.
the ugly
The way young people are reacting to this situation. Reading the comments on Black gossip sites and on Rihanna and Chris’s myspace pages is horrifying. Some young people think this is ok. Some people think being provoked is a reason to beat a woman (this comes straight from Chris’s sister AND cousin).
a lot has been written about Nadya Suleman and her 14 children. Let me break down the problem for you, she is unemployed, single and has 14 children. She has 14 children! How are we arguing that this is not completely irresponsible? Her parents have financial problems so they moved into her house to live with her. How are these people supposed to cloth and feed 14 children, 8 of whom are infants. How are these people supposed to keep their sanity? How are we not seeing this as a problem?
Would this still be a problem if she was married? It depends, if her husband was loaded and they had a house large enough to accommodate 14 children and could afford enough child care, I would probably say no. But if he was as broke as she is, then yes. As it stands now, her parents are trying to support her. Her father is going back to Iraq to make some money, I guess the mother’s going to stay home and take care of the kids and perhaps Nadya will go back to school and get the degree? Then what? We are in a major recession, it’s not easy to get a job, no matter what type of education you have.
I get it, she was an only child and she wanted a large family. That’s perfectly fine, but the manner in which she chose to do this is crazy. After successfully having six children, she decided to go back and use the 6 remaining eggs. It’s not that she’s ignorant, she’s actually quite knowledgeable about the process and risks, she just didn’t care. She just wanted to have those children.
I think if you’re lonely and a broke grad school student, get a pet.
because the way people are talking, it sure seems they can. During the campaign, some people expressed concern that we were hyping him up too much and putting too much pressure on him. Now that he’s President, I think some have gone overboard.
I mean for real, have their been no healthy examples of black marriages since the Cosby show? And for that matter, were there any health examples of black marriages before the Cosby show?
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the Cosby show. I love seeing two successful Black parents that loved each other, could have loving disagreements, didn’t beat their children
It seems like if I did a time line of healthy Black marriages it would go like this
1984-1992: Cosbys (the Cosby show)
1992 – now: Obamas (real life)
This looks ridiculous, because it is ridiculous. I think it’s nice we have another example of a healthy marriage, but the Obamas are not the end all be all and the media (yes i’m looking at you CNN) really needs to stop pretending that this is the cure to Black “pathology”.
I saw Notorious on Friday. In my opinion, it was ok. I think they could and should have developed every character way more. In spite of that, I was pleasantly surprised to see a lot about fatherhood in the movie. Biggie’s struggle to be a good father, a litle insight into why he wasn’t the best for a while and his desire to be a better father in the end. It was a pleasant surprise. I wasn’t the biggest Biggie fan, so I didn’t know he had two children. I can’t say that I was surprised, but it was nice that the children even had a place in the movie.
