Anyway, B and her boo break up. She’s fine with it, we both continue to work on our PhDs. Then one day B comes in my office and tells me she’s met someone and she likes him. He’s also a student but in a different school within our university – actually in religion, which is totally not B’s thing. She also tells me he has a history (read: marriage and a kid). I clutch my pearls, I mean, this would be her second major relationship. But she’s so happy, which makes me so happy. She says “It feels right,” and I smiled. I mean, what would I have said anyway, she was so happy. I keep my doubts to myself.

A few weeks later and her boo is in my office.  Official introductions are made even though we both heard of each other already.  He’s cool, I approve, we joke about baking cookies.

Fast forward a few weeks, and B walks in and announces she is going to marry her new man. I laugh and say “ok.” But the look in face tells me it’s more than an empty assertion, she is going to marry him. “In September.” Uhm, that’s like two months away, but hey, who am I to tell her what to do with her life? They’ve talked it over. She admits that yes, it sounds crazy, which comforts me because at least she gets why I’m giving her the crazy eye s.

She tells me of plans to bring him to meet her parents and how she will meet his parents in the upcoming months. Everything is moving right along. After visiting her parents, they decide to postpone the wedding until December. And even though December is still way within a calendar year of them meeting, this seems much more realistic.  She’s still really happy, there are no problems in love land. I think to myself, this never happens in real life.

Another few weeks and she’s met his mother. Her mother and his mother get along, she loves the family, all is great in the world. She announces that she’s getting married next Tuesday, they’re back on the original time line. In fact, they’ve already filled out the first part of their marriage license paper work. They are ready to go.

I ask what happened, why the change? And her response was so simple, “What am I waiting for?”

In fact, most of the time when we talk about him, she often asked “What am I waiting for?” And I started thinking about my own life. I’ve been mulling around with an idea to write a book but procrastinating on that. At that point, I clearly wasn’t writing the paper that I needed to be writing. I kept putting everything off because I felt like I needed to wait for something (I still have no idea of what I’m waiting on most of the time), but I had to ask myself, what in the world was I waiting for?

I couldn’t think of a good answer, so I got going on what I wanted to to do. Started the book, finished the paper. And it felt good.  And it feels good.

B got married to her boo that next Tuesday. I saw her that Thursday, she was talking to my boss about a paper they were writing together, I couldn’t help but noticed how relaxed she was. I couldn’t contain my excitement and was trying to be cool because I didn’t know who she told, but I busted in and interrupted their meeting.

“So did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“You know, what you said you were going to do on Tuesday?”
“What did I do on Tuesday?”
“Fool, did you get married?!”
“Oh yeah. I got married! (to me) I got married! (to my boss, who just laughed because this scene is now totally ridiculous).

So B got married, I finally turned in my paper (and passed my class, praise baby Jesus) and I’m working on the book, which I’m sure you’ll hear a lot about this year. And we all lived happily every after.

peace,
e.

You can read it here.

Abstract:
This article uses data from the Fragile Families and Child Well-being Survey to examine the association between transitioning to marriage and general health status or serious health problems among low-income men.  Beginning with a sample of 3,631 unmarried fathers, the study observes the relationship between their transitions to marriage within 3 years after the birth of their child and their health status 5 years postbirth. The authors also explore if unmarried fathers benefit from marrying mothers who have health insurance. Results indicate that transitions to marriage and transitions to marriage with mothers who have health insurance, are associated with fewer serious health problems. The authors did not observe a significant relationship between transitioning to marriage and general health, likely because the sample comprised men who were young (average age was 26 years) and in very good health.

Enjoy!

peace,
e.

Daughters and their Relationship with their Nonresident Fathers (working title too).

Enjoy.

peace,
e.

Feels good.

One publication down, one more to go this year.

peace,
e.

I have a few goals over those next 3 weeks:

1. Focus SASSY.  It’s too all over the place.  There’s no structure.  I know it can better.
2. Finish the edits on the chapter – which has now turned into a journal article.  the editors had the second draft for almost 6 months and returned it yesterday and said they wanted revisions by Augutst 19th.  That wasn’t happening but one of  my coauthors and I are trying to get it out by September 2nd.  Wish us luck!
3. Do and mega pro and cons list of my two dissertation ideas.  I know I haven’t started the program but if I want to get out in 3 years I need to go in knowing exactly what I want to do.
4. PhD bootcamp with my cousin who just got her PhD.  (Congrats Leah).  I have no idea of what this entails.
5. Exercise. a lot.  I know it will help relieve stress and my goal is to put myself on a schedule and make this routine.  Even though I am currently pretty healthy, I know I can do better.
6. Create a realistic healthier diet.  I just moved and have been eating crap for three weeks.  My body can’t take it anymore.

That’s all I’ve got for now.  I’ll keep you updated.

e.

that would prob explain why i can’t bring myself to write the lit review for the chapter. isn’t this supposed to be the easiest part?  I need to stop being a punk and just bust this out. blah.

e.

Apartment Therapy – i love seeing dope apartments.

Made by Girl - I just love her stuff. I want to break out my silk screen

Deception Pass – i love the sims. i admire how much time they spend on this – the writing and all the custom gear they make. i love it.

What inspires you?

peace,
e.

Had a meeting with the editor yesterday.  Almost totally done with the data, I think a solid two hours should do it.  And now to write.  Even though I don’t need to turn the article in for 4 weeks, my boss wants it in two. So… away I go to write.

peace,
e.

At any rate, I’ve got most of the data, I know what I want to do it. I’m working on the outline. I’m about to make this happen.

peace,
e.