I decided to stop importing my blog to facebook – although I suppose that was the only way to get anyone to read it. I dunno, felt like I couldn’t say what I wanted to say, it wasn’t a “safe” space. I’m not sure what I’m going to say now. We’ll see.
peace,
e.
So ashamed to have written more than one of these “I’m still alive” posts. But, yeah I’m still alive.
I’ve barely seen anyone in months, except for my classmates and occasionally my family.
So what have I been up to?
no but for real, there’s no time for that right now.next up:
peace,
e.
I have two choices at this point: I can either cart my butt up to Harlem every day or I can clean (and reorganize) my room so I can work at home. Either way, I got a lot of work to get done this year and I need to stop playing Sims and start working.
Unfortunately, here’s what I’m working with.
…yeah. It’s crazy time.
And the worst part is right next to my bed.
*shame face* But fear not, I have a plan. And a time line, get it done within 6 months (Hey I gotta save for some of what I need).
Keep ya updated.
e.
Mostly been busy with school. For the past few weeks I’ve been reading about black fathers (surprise) in the 19th century. Not surprisingly, there wasn’t much in the newspapers about Black men as fathers – aside from them murdering their children or their children murdering them (so lame). In my early research, I kept reading about how Black fathers were abandoning their families and how there’s been a high rate a female headed households in the Black community since slavery ended. But when I went looking for primary sources to back this up, I couldn’t find any. In fact, I kept reading about how high the marriage rate was after slavery, how these men were finding and buying their families, it was all gravy. But then, where the hell did this idea that Black men were peacing out come from? That’s become my latest obsession becuase I figure someone must have written about that somewhere. But alas, I can’t find it. Call it a myth I guess.
Other than school: the Trainer and the diet – Let’s put it this way, I’ve been hungry since Sunday and I am over it. Yes it’s nice to workout and feel healthy, but for real, being hungry all the time is not fun. My friend said “If you’re not hungry, you’re not doing it right.” I believe that. But I feel like if I’m hungry the numbers on the scale should be dropping – and their not. Granted, my pants are way looser than they were before, I’ve become obsessed with the number on the scale and I don’t like that. I also don’t like not enjoying my meals. There are healthy meals that taste good, I just need to find them and make them. The trainer put me on a meal plan that’s basically veggies and meat – no real descriptions on how to prepare em. So I’ve been having baked chicken and broccolli – that got old really quickly. Tonight, I’m going to try to make this. yum-o.
South Park. Dear Lord, please let me stop watching South Park (the movie and the show). It is soo ignornant, but it takes the edge of my days. That and Sims 2 (it’s like we just rekindled our relationship – hell I might even start LJ blogging about it again).
Ever since I started this blog I’ve been struggling with where to go with it. I felt it had to have a theme, but I spent so much time worrying about what that theme was that I never actually blog, which is super lame since I do think and care about a lot of things. So I decided to just write what I like as long as I’m actually writing.
peace,
e.
Yesterday I did something I’ve been afraid to do all summer – ride my bike on the streets. Yesterday I rode my bike from house to my best friends house and then to the beach.
As you can see by my expert paint skills, the ride took forever. An hour of being scared out of my mind by cars zooming by – ok that’s not true. We spent a large chunk of that time on a bike path, but still. The ride home took more than an hour I’m sure as by the time we made it to Ave A, I was dying.
My body hurts in places that have never hurt before. I’ll be icing for days. But it was worth it. After we got out of Prospect Park, I rode home alone. I made it down Classon – a street with no bike lanes – all by myself.
Now to grow a pair when it comes to men…
peace,
e.
p.s. Shout out to Manny and Drew who were very patient with my slow riding and constant whining (and screaming *shame face*).
This is my first real vacation since 2007. I am beyond excited to not really have a plan and do a ton of things I want to do – like design my new apartment, make an inspiration board and I’m thinking of making a headboard too – things I need to do – finish the final draft of my first peer-reviewed journal article, focus SASSY, see my family – and just relax.
For my first day of vacation, I was shamed into going to the gym by my roommate (ha) but at the gym I saw my old gym buddy. After 45 minutes of cardio (and girl talk), we decided to go to the beach. Since it was a million degrees outside, I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner, but we called up a few other friends and headed over.
It was so relaxing. We went in the water, we laid out in the sun. Aside from getting hit by some guy’s umbrella (twice!), it was so peaceful.
Then I came home and made a healthy dinner with my roommate (SASSY post on that coming soon) – roasted portobello caprese salad. yum. We tried to put together the couch, we were unsuccessful, but at least it’s here.
After that I was exhausted, so I went to bed.
It was an excellent beginning to what is sure to be an excellent vacation.
peace,
e.
just a little back to school present for myself.
Sweet, huh? It’s by Jess LC and all her stuff is pretty dope. I’ll be back for more for sure. Check it out.
peace,
e.
In 6 days i will begin a 3 week vacation. My first vacation in over two years. My last vacation was prob my worst with my (ex) boyfriend and lots o drama. So I need to make up for lost time and create some positive memories to associate with vacation.
I have a few goals over those next 3 weeks:
That’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll keep you updated.
e.
So last week I turned 27. Normally I don’t feel anything on my birthdays, but this year I felt old. Too old. Actually, too old for this shit.
What is this shit? Roommate drama and coworker drama. I literally woke up that morning and said no more and made a plan. By the end of the day, I had a new roommate and plan to deal with my nemesis.
I guess old people get things done.
peace,
e.
Tonight my mother and I got ino a little tiff because I wanted to give my brother $200 in hopes that he would finally enroll in a GED course. My mother went off. She said he wasn’t going to go to the class and that he’s had all these opportunities to go to different schools and he hasn’t taken them and this would be a waste of my money. Now let’s be for real, I know the liklihood of my brother taking $200 and spending it on a GED class he has been avoiding for at least 8 months is slim. I thought that by showing him that I believed that he would do the right and take some steps to get his life back together, it would motivate and empower him. Call it my Christmas wish. He’s only 17. In my humble opinion, that’s just too young to throw your life away.
Well, you would think the argument would stop there, but my mother kept going. I don’t really understand why, but my faith in the men in my life – namely my father and brothers – really pisses her off. She always tells me you can’t change people. I know that. After spending years trying to change boyfriends, my father and now my brother I know that. But I also know that people can change themselves when they want to. I don’t see the harm in encouraging my brother to get a GED and explaining the numerous benefits of having any education in this economy. The one thing my brothers know about me is that I never give up on them. Yes, I get frustrated, a lot, but I’ve never given up on them. So this Christmas, I’m going to tell my brother that whenever he’s ready for this GED course, I will help him financially.
My mother left the room muttering, “You can’t save the world Eva.” I’m not trying to save the world, Mom. I’m trying to save my brother.
peace,
e.
