The other day, a friend said she stumbled across my blog and that she felt that she knew everything about me from reading it. What she didn’t get is that that’s the point. For at least a year, I’ve been writing this blog with a secret focus: I wanted my blog to be a safe way for my sister to get to know me. I mentioned this a while ago in a post about my father, but my sister was adopted when she was an infant. This year she turns 18 and when she does, she’ll be able to access her adoption file and if she wants to, reconnect with us. I’m putting a letter in her file and leading her to my blog if she wants to read up a little before taking the plunge and calling me. So I’m relieved to know that this blog is doing its job.
I can’t even begin to tell you how excited and nervous I am for June to come. I might be able to talk to, and maybe even see, my little sister again. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a sister. So of course I ended up with three brothers. Don’t get me wrong, I adore all of my brothers, but I know there are some fundamental basics that we just don’t get about each other.
For a while I played around the with idea of starting a letters to my sister series where I just wrote her letters about life and shared life lessons that I learned the hard way. But I was concerned it would come off preachy, so I scraped the idea. Instead I just started blogging about my life, the personal stuff that I would want to share with her even though some of it embarrassing or difficult to talk about. I want to be able to talk to her about the stuff that people don’t often discuss because it is so personal. I just figured if I put myself out there to her, then she might feel comfortable enough to be open with me.
So the gig is up, a lot of my blog is for her and I hope someday she reads it. And if you’re reading now, hey Jazmine, call me already. 
love,
e.
) – it is true that Americans get married faster, get divorced faster and remarry faster than any of our western counterparts. This is a result of competing ideologies: the very American “do you” mentality (pursuit of happiness, rugged individualism, etc) and this idea that marriage is the ideal (and perhaps only) way to raise children. These ideologies do not work together at all, in fact, most of them time they work directly against each other. And I was left thinking, what’s the point of getting married when there’s a 50/50 chance it will end? I even discussed this with my mentor who told me that his marriage is a contract with God and this if he plays his wife, he’s also playing with his relationship to God. It was the risk of messing things up with God that kept him in line. I can admit that I never thought of marriage like that; I’m not sure that I do even now.