July 2010 archive

the right to be a father?

While everyone was in a huff over Lebron going to Miami, I was getting worked up about Leicester Bryce Stovell claiming to be his father and suing him and his mother for $4,000,000.  As I said on twitter, “nothing says I love you son like suing him and his mother for millions.” :-/

The long and short of the story is that Mr. Stovell claims he met Lebron’s mother when she was 15 (and he was 29, gross), they have bad sex and later she told him she was pregnant.  He never directly asks her if the baby is his, nor does she ever confirm his suspicion.  He told her if the baby is his make sure he plays basketball.  She said “ok.”  This statement and the fact that he believes they look alike (they really don’t) are the reasons why he believes Lebron is his.  In spite of his mother’s wishes, Lebron did participate in a paternity test with his father and the results concluded that Leicester was not the father.  But Mr. Stovell wasn’t going out like that and insists that the results were tampered with.

Which got me to thinking?  At what point do you lose your “right” to be a father?  It always makes me angry when I hear about celebrities who grew up with their fathers and then as soon as they make it big, here goes dad.  We saw this with Oprah, who wouldn’t even give the latest contender the time of day.  Is there a statue of limiations on when you come back into a kid’s life?  And do they have to let you back in?  To that last question, I give a resounding no.  I think that if you neglect your child until adulthood, you cannot roll back in their live and try to play parent.  It doesn’t work that way.  As a friend says, “if you aren’t there for the grind, you can’t be there for the shine.”  Or something like that.

Even if this man is Lebron’s father, which I don’t think he is, what does he deserve? What’s his prize for doing what he should have done 20-something years ago? So you’re the father, now we all have a face to the absent father who did absolutely nothing but contribute some genes to this man’s success.  That does not earn you $4 mil.  I don’t think it’s slander to say you weren’t there because you weren’t there.  He needs to go to the hood and mentor some kids or something – or take the good Princeton education and tutor someone, but please, leave Lebron and his mother alone.  They do not owe you anything.

Very Smart Brothas also wrote about this issue – but talking about how Lebron reminds that men can have daddy issues too.  Good read, check it out.

peace,
e.

fuck it

it’s my blog and i can write what i want.

for months, maybe even a year now, i have been agonizing over what to make this blog.  i was trying to make it into something that would make me “internet popular.” a place where a bunch of strangers would read what i write, agree or disagree, but be sure to leave a ton of comments. and that stressed me the fuck out.

i was worried who would read this (apparently about 12 people a week), what would my mother say, what if someone finally put the pieces together and realized i think and talk about my ex girlfriend a hell of a lot more than i’m comfortable with.  what if my brother realized his first instinct that i wasn’t exaclty straight was right and that i totally lied to him when he brought it up becuase sometimes i’m a pussy.  what if someone called me on my research, said something about my standard errors being too small or large (i never can remember) or just said i was flat out wrong.

what if they don’t like me?

to that, i say, who the fuck cares? why in the world do i care so much about what people think of what i write?  lord knows i talk enough shit in real life, i should be able to take some by now, right?

tonight i started reading bitch is the new black. i started ready to hate because she was talking shit about some of my friends in her “ruhbuhduh” chapter. i was ready to be all snarky and hate (hate hate hate) when i realized that’s some shit i would say (maybe even have said, meh). and as i read this book, all i can think is this chick does not give a fuck who she pisses off. she’s going for hers.  she has a published book and movie deal.  i have two raggedy articles and about 4 blogs that i don’t write on because i’m punking out worrying about strangers or people i don’t like.

what.
the.
fuck?

time to snap outta this shit and write. write for my life, huh CPC?

so here we go,
e.