i’m still alive

Mostly been busy with school.  For the past few weeks I’ve been reading about black fathers (surprise) in the 19th century.  Not surprisingly, there wasn’t much in the newspapers about Black men as fathers – aside from them murdering their children or their children murdering them (so lame).  In my early research, I kept reading about how Black fathers were abandoning their families and how there’s been a high rate a female headed households in the Black community since slavery ended.  But when I went looking for primary sources to back this up, I couldn’t find any.  In fact, I kept reading about how high the marriage rate was after slavery, how these men were finding and buying their families, it was all gravy.  But then, where the hell did this idea that Black men were peacing out come from?  That’s become my latest obsession becuase I figure someone must have written about that somewhere.  But alas, I can’t find it.  Call it a myth I guess.

Other than school: the Trainer and the diet – Let’s put it this way, I’ve been hungry since Sunday and I am over it.  Yes it’s nice to workout and feel healthy, but for real, being hungry all the time is not fun.  My friend said “If you’re not hungry, you’re not doing it right.”  I believe that.  But I feel like if I’m hungry the numbers on the scale should be dropping – and their not.  Granted, my pants are way looser than they were before, I’ve become obsessed with the number on the scale and I don’t like that.   I also don’t like not enjoying my meals.  There are healthy meals that taste good, I just need to find them and make them.  The trainer put me on a meal plan that’s basically veggies and meat – no real descriptions on how to prepare em.  So I’ve been having baked chicken and broccolli – that got old really quickly.  Tonight, I’m going to try to make this. yum-o.

South Park.  Dear Lord, please let me stop watching South Park (the movie and the show).  It is soo ignornant, but it takes the edge of my days.  That and Sims 2 (it’s like we just rekindled our relationship – hell I might even start LJ blogging about it again).

Ever since I started this blog I’ve been struggling with where to go with it.  I felt it had to have a theme, but I spent so much time worrying about what that theme was that I never actually blog, which is super lame since I do think and care about a lot of things.  So I decided to just write what I like as long as I’m actually writing.

peace,
e.

1 Comment on i’m still alive

  1. LD
    December 18, 2009 at 5:20 pm (5 years ago)

    I have the struggle with the same things my love.

    I finally forced my self to start writing again, even if its about nothing. You can do it.

    -D
    .-= LD´s last blog ..Recollection =-.

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