Voluntary Single Fathers?

Last night I came across this article on CNN about men who are using surrogate mothers to become fathers.  Granted most men that employ this method of fatherhood are gay men, mostly in committed relationships, who want to become fathers.  I thought it was interesting that CNN chose a Black gay man as the example of gay men, for obvious reasons.

picture from cnn.com

picture from cnn.com

Jeff Walker, pictured above, wanted to be a father.  He had his first daughter with his partner and a surrogate.  Jeff and his parnter broke up but Jeff wanted more children so he use the same surrogate, diferent egg donor and had a second daughter.

The second example, Steven Harris, is a straight man that opted for surragacy when he became tired of waiting for the right woman to marry.

“I thought getting married was the only way to go, because I did want a family. But having Ben, I feel complete now,” Harris says.

You know how I feel about single parenthood, especially planned single parenthood, but I must say I’m happy to see men who genuinely want to be fathers and are willing to spend a lot of money to become fathers.  CNN reported surrogacy can cost $100,000 (wowza).

All in all, very interesting.  I had never thought about the men who can’t find the right women and go on with their family plans.  It makes sense, I’ve met a lot of women who have said if they can’t find the right man at a certain point in their life, they would adopt or impregnate themselves through invitro fertilization.  I need to read more on this phenomenon.

What do you guys think of these mens creating families through surrogates?

3 Comments on Voluntary Single Fathers?

  1. Kaylan
    December 28, 2008 at 11:54 am (6 years ago)

    I was saddened by this article. I don’t think gay relationships are natural to begin with and black homosexuality is actually quite less statistiscally from what I know so that was odd. Plus, it is a fact that homosexual relationships especially men don’t last very long (and they had that in the first example, since his partner split after the first child was born). How good is that for a child? I can imagine children born like this wonder why their biological mom didn’t want them or just got their money and took off. So sad. And straight men doing this is really odd. I’ve read stories where single men adopted and were actually sexual abusers and abused the child, so I would be wary of a man who doesn’t want a mother around to help. Yes, I’m sure there are good men out there who love children truly but it is odd if they cannot find someone to marry. That would be a possible sign they don’t commit well and commitment is necessary to be a parent.

  2. The Krigsman
    December 29, 2008 at 6:38 pm (6 years ago)

    Women are the problem. It’s that just women are so completely convinced of their *men bad/women good* moral superiority (see above) they can’t see it.

    Men are not safe in their marriages. Men are not safe having children in their marriages. A man knows he will lose it all should his wife (whom can do no wrong) or he (who is always to blame) want a divorce. And that’s the way women like it.

    Men are not stupid. They know damn well what they are up against – anti-male divorce courts, anti-father family courts, the anti-male domestic violence industry, misandry, bigotry, sexism. They know they will be reduced to spending just a few hours every other weekend with their children, no hope of ever having a real father/child relationship and paying between a third and two thirds of their income to child/mommy support for the privilege of being treated like a criminal.

    Women benefit from divorce- children, house, $$$. This is the system women wanted -No, DEMANDED- and now will not give up for anything. Is it really any wonder that single men who would want to become fathers would take steps to avoid that which is the single most pernicious threat to themselves and the father/child relationship – A Wife.

    Cause and effect. Expect more of the same.

    The Krigsman.

  3. e.
    January 4, 2009 at 2:00 pm (6 years ago)

    Hmm, I can’t say that I agree with either of your view points but thank you for the comments.

    @Kaylan, I don’t believe in homophobia. I believe children should be raised by two parents. Studies have proven that the gender of the parents does not influence children’s well-being. I do not think it is “odd” that men would want to be fathers – gay or straight. I don’t think that straight men who adopt children do so because they want to abuse they child, these men just want to be fathers. A man’s relationship with his child is completely different than his relationship with women.

    @ The Krigsman, enough with the women hate. jeez. Now I can agree that when it comes to divorce and child custody, women normally win out, and that is unfair to men. I have to disagree with you about women demanding and creating the system.

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